You’re never too old to learn a lesson. For example: If you’re a 67-year-old man looking for a “sugar baby,” you’ve got to expect things will go south on you. Also for you this week, our humble listeners:

• You’re never too old to get a twitch in your pants over a dreamy young man.
• Brian is back at the casino on a regular basis.
• We haven’t played Jeff’s intro all season long … UNTIL TODAY! Whoooo!!!
• A windshield wiper incident.
• Brian: “McNuggets never gave me diarrhea.”
• Brian insists Jeff is not that much smart, b/w waxed midgie pussy.
• Update: They’re finally going to look for Amelia Earhart’s plane (Jeff doesn’t care; Brian marginally cares).
• Jeff went to a religious wedding, b/w Jeff’s ex-wife sucks a lot.
• Don Rickles with Frank Sinatra and Johnny Carson.
• Some kids were fed edibles.
• Being in Betty Ford, b/w Brian has a very rare moment of self censorship.
• Tony Romo likes to drink and drive, b/w Resting Douche Face.
• Brief retirement talk.

Brian didn’t feel like doing show prep this week, so the boys spent a whole day trying to decide which videos to watch. And we got there, also talking about:

• Branch Rickey and light minor league baseball talk.
• Jeff thinks the boys should take colonoscopy prep together.
• The first video is showing kids how to be good people, and obviously we’re not good people.
• Brian likes to run red lights.
• Western style versus Mean Jerk Time.
• Putting the pathetic in empathetic.
• Walter Reed’s sexual harassment training video from the 1980s.
• In the end, it all comes back to sucking seed.
• A Caucasian baby, from the mountains of Caucasus.
• That one Andrews Sister was a MESS.
• Super Troopers 3 merch.
• Brian wore the same Halloween costume for 30 years.

It’s a short show this week, because Brian feels terrible and needs to get home and pump himself full of water and over the counter drugs. But not before we discuss the dead body that sat in the grocery store for four hours due to some corporate nonsense. Also:

• The boys hate grocery shopping, but love old man cereals.
• Brian watched Citizen Vigilante, declares it’s dog shit.
• Brian had an embarrassing fecal incident at his new job. He wouldn’t post a picture of it on X, but he’s willing to do something else for the show.
• A Chubby Checker digression, b/w Chubby’s “folk” album.
• Update: Injury totals for the running of the bulls.
• Update: Kristi Noem is leaving her closeted, likely homosexual, cross dressing husband.
• A North Miami Beach police captain was arrested for filming his step-daughter in the shower.
• A pilot instructor jumped out of the plane, leaving his student to land by herself.
• Jeff has insane confidence in himself.
• The video of the guy getting hit by the bison is hilarious.
• Brian wanted England to win the World Cup because at least they speak English.
• Brief Tarantino discussion.
• Does Jeff have the Taco Bell lettuce rhea disease?

At what age should you know never to swim in any small, muddy body of water in Florida? Sooner than 31, we say. Way sooner. Also:

• Brief July 4th conversation, and Brian once again busts Jeff’s balls for his toilet paper Kleenex gimmick.
• The guy in Ft. Wayne, Indiana who cut his cock off, set it on fire, and used it to set a garage on fire, b/w Boston Corbett castrated himself.
• An Oklahoma woman grabbed a firework from her daughter, and promptly put on her Summer fingers.
• A female Milwaukee cop was knocked out by fireworks, and the way female cops are going, everyone is lucky she didn’t shoot the smoke.
• We would fly Box Cutter Airlines before Spirit.
• A tree and a truck were set on fire during some typical low IQ fireworks shenanigans on Oakland.
• A fireworks explosion sent five people to the hospital, and the news reporter telling you about it looks like Edna Mode.
• The char b/w who is the pedo in Star Wars?
• Enough with Metallica, already.
• 400 arrested in Newport Beach on July 4th – lots of “teens.”
• The (Rocky) Balboa Peninsula
• Summer Teeth revisited.

What better way to celebrate America’s birthday than by taking the week off? But fear not, we’ve recorded a Video Store of us watching an episode of “Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura” where they discuss the Kennedy assassination. Eventually we lose patience with this low IQ dummy and tap out, but before then, we’re having a great time. Have a listen. (Recorded June 4 for broadcast July 3.)