This week, an absolute pimp of an 85-year-old man was caught in his tiny car, smoking a cigarello, and driving 110 miles per hour in a 45. He was arrested (along with another guy) for drag racing. (We have the video of his arrest, too.) Also:

• Brian is obsessed with Hollywood Graveyard.
• Brian made a serious tactical error trying to do something adventurous at work, and learned a lesson.
• Light baseball talk, b/w Brian almost does a spit take.
• When a fart goes up your ball bag.
• We’re doing Jocktober this year.
• A woman working at Arby’s spit into a customer’s food, giving her herpes.
• The Cos drops by and talks about how he used to give women herpes.
• Brian forgot to mention that Alan Greenspan died, and Team Jeff ties the Dead Pool at 2-2.
• Jeff drops a rare Mush Mouth.
• Brian Williams was funny on 30 Rock.
• Some blue hair drove a Tesla into a public swimming pool.
• You ever pull a load out while driving?
• The Commodore flip phone.

First up this week, a Pasadena cop was jerking around and shot another cop in the shoulder, proving once again that every police force in America should implement an IQ test. Also:

• Dead Pool Update: Gene Shalit died, and team Brian takes a 2-1 lead.
• Brian speculates on the sex lives of Kermit and Miss Piggy.
• A Dick Cavett correction.
• An HOA voted to exterminate hundreds of geese, and the boys are torn, because they hate both HOAs and geese.
• You could burn geese for fuel, right?
• The Auschwitz parking lot was always full.
• A drunk and / or high woman spit on a cop twice, and got popped in the mouth for her effort.
• There’s nothing better than a Three Stooges pie fight.
• “The old Union Pacific doesn’t come by here much anymore.”
• Jimmy Cagney’s open palm grapefruit technique b/w The Golden Age of Broad Smacking.
• The boys don’t care about the World Cup, but the videos of Euros loving free refills and Buc-ee’s are the best.
• Brian found out he’s incompatible with regular, human working hours.

This week’s episode was recorded last New Year’s Eve, in case we needed an “emergency” show during the 2026 season. And we did. Listen as the Boys discuss:

• Brian was newly unemployed, and Jeff is surprised he’s not living in the studio.
• Light football talk.
• People being loud.
• Jeff stepped in dog shit, and actively has a stroke while describing it, we think.
• When pets die.
• Light teevee talk.
• Judy Hopps – would ya?
• Brian is jerking off A LOT during his unemployment.
• Chubby Checker.
• Almost falling down.
• Looney Tunes and Three Stooges themes.
• Guns N’ Roses, Judas Priest, and Metallica.

This week, the boys learn that the best way to deal with a woman who wants to leave you is to demolish your own house. Also:

• Jeff had to take care of a drunken asshole at a baseball game. (By the way, if you feel the need to get hammered at a minor league baseball game, check yourself into a program.)
• Brian saw a fatso falling and rolling down a hill, and it was one of the greatest moments of his life.
• Brian got a job, and it’s going to take him some time to train them.
• Grok wrote us a script last week, and we’re just not feeling it. It’s bad, bad, bad.
• An Atlanta cop was banging a judge in her chambers, b/w Brian used to live next to a girl whose boyfriend would legitimately tear it up.
• A brief history of shitty talk shows; Dick Cavett will not get past Watergate.
• A Florida man had his cock out at a Taco Bell.
• There’s no way a fat, bald guy should be selling you workout shoes.
• Nap and baseball discussions.