Brian ate two bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and had a cinnamony, toasty dump. Also: Jeff’s dermatologist has a smile like the Joker | Literal Jeff strikes again | Doctor Genius is a hit | War of the Wordles | the first In-N-Out opened in Washington state, and people camped out all night | a man was arrested for sniffing a woman’s ass in public | going over this week’s scumbag roundup for a Florida Crimestoppers | a Woody bouquet | Brian is willing to fund a genocide if it’s to kill dummies | Brian brings up the Taylor Swift engagement, and the boys discuss Travis Kelce’s huge hog | good news: a kid toucher is going to be castrated | and finally, chemical castration.

Jeff and Brian both watched War of the Worlds, and they have a lot to say about it. Also: Brian also saw Nobody 2 and Americana | a man turned his sprinklers on handicapped kids | another man was arrested for blaring train horns and security alarms for no reason | the introduction of Doctor Genius | a man got stuck in a playground slide | ooo, are we checking our phones? | ding dong shoot | “honky” and “cracker” are hilarious | Wikipedia has a list of ethnic slurs | Jeff’s sister has been in Ireland for two weeks | phrases white people use | the man with the world’s longest cock fell in the shower | and finally, we should order a War of the Worlds movie poster for the studio.

The Boys watch the video of the race car driver who fell. Also: Colder weather and cold coffee | how the show ends | if something happens to Trixie, Brian and Jeff should get married | Bitcoin | talking politics | Updates and Corrections (a male prosti, Danielle Spencer died, Sandy Pinkard died) | movie chat, including the new War of the Worlds | some dumb woman danced on a roof and fell into a chimney | South Park | Jeff doesn’t want to try meth | this week’s church based sex offender | the King and Lisa Marie | and finally, AOL is getting rid of dial-up.

(We’ll blame Doug for this not working the first time.) Milwaukee Brewers manager Pat Murphy pulled a pancake out of his pocket and Lemon, as a pocket food aficionado, weighs in. Also: Jeff lost his glasses | It sounds like Howard Stern is getting the boot | update on Hulk Hogan’s cause of death | Beyoncé and Sydney Sweeney | a Catholic priest was arrested for renting pussy | Brian is closer to renting a mouth than ever before | American Top 40 | old people love their local newscasters | a part-time cop was arrested for filming young girls | Cop Rock | cops find a fuck doll in a river | high end fuck dolls are very expensive | the Vaseline route | Mountain Dew genes | Happy Hiroshima (and Nagasaki) day(s) | and finally, old timey racism.

Jeff and Brian were shirtless together. Also this week: The Sydney Sweeney thing is the dumbest story of the year | Hitlery | Kamala Harris narrated a book | Sweeney looks like a space alien | the celebrity death round-up (Chuck Mangione, Ryne Sandberg, Tom Lehrer, and Hulk Hogan) | jabronis and jamokes | The Iron Sheik | authorities warn against “teens” doing the Door Kick Challenge | a radioactive wasp nest was found in South Carolina | and finally, sometimes, a moderate probe is best.