This week’s show is completely off the rails (in a fun way), starting with a bear breaking into a woman’s home to steal her leftover KFC, and continuing with:

• Gangs, Teams, bear experts, and broskis.
• Brian could never have been a gay.
• In an unheard of series of events, the boys had lunch together and are going to a concert next month.
• Godsmack discussion, b/w local rock radio loved Godsmack and Local H in the mid-90s.
• Brian introduces Jeff to the Hays Code, b/w Faye Wray’s hard nipples.
• Local news is introduced to gooning; women are being attacked at Dollar General stores.
• The military clearly isn’t giving IQ tests.
• Randy Savage, candy cameras, tinfoil lenses, and Five Below.
• You’ll never guess why traffic was shut down in DC for two hours. Go on, guess. You’ll never guess.

It’s not as much of a surprise as it should be that a preacher was banging an underage boy; the plot twist is that the man of god has HIV and didn’t tell anyone. Also this week:

• James Gregory and filling up the gas tank.
• The boys debate starting a gay dating app called Pillow Biters, b/w gay sex in Nazi Germany.
• Sugar Drop grapes.
• Brian has dumped out in every bathroom at his new job.
• Jeff’s got nothing going on, except he’s planning his pre-retirement.
• Two men were arrested for having a machete fight, b/w Machete.
• Frankenstein, haunted pussies, and Elsa Lanchester.
• The Feel Good Story of the Week.
• “I Put a Spell on You.”
• A kid fell asleep on a school bus. The driver is at fault, but …
• Another kid refused to put on a seat belt, so a flight was canceled, b/w child murder.
• Light presidential election talk (1972 v. 1980, 1984).

Once again this week, more old men are getting swindled by young pussy, except this time the girl is arrested for stealing from, basically, everyone she meets. And more:

• This show really needs a gay to explain things. Not a character, but a real gay.
• The Asian noise.
• Magic Shell and the Cock Sock, b/w Marvin the Martian cock toppers.
• We finally address Jeff’s throat rattle and sniffing on the show.
• Loving old man cereals.
• Someone’s farts – or some other chemical fart spray – cleared out a Spider-Man screening.
• Redheads are back, b/w Lucille Ball had a weird face.
• Doug stepping on the host, b/w how did Frank Sinatra treat Jews?
• Tony Romo suspended “indefinitely,” b/w itchy toes.
• The Feel Good Story of the Week.
• If you were going to bang a Blizzard, what flavor would it be?
• R. Budd Dwyer

You’re never too old to learn a lesson. For example: If you’re a 67-year-old man looking for a “sugar baby,” you’ve got to expect things will go south on you. Also for you this week, our humble listeners:

• You’re never too old to get a twitch in your pants over a dreamy young man.
• Brian is back at the casino on a regular basis.
• We haven’t played Jeff’s intro all season long … UNTIL TODAY! Whoooo!!!
• A windshield wiper incident.
• Brian: “McNuggets never gave me diarrhea.”
• Brian insists Jeff is not that much smart, b/w waxed midgie pussy.
• Update: They’re finally going to look for Amelia Earhart’s plane (Jeff doesn’t care; Brian marginally cares).
• Jeff went to a religious wedding, b/w Jeff’s ex-wife sucks a lot.
• Don Rickles with Frank Sinatra and Johnny Carson.
• Some kids were fed edibles.
• Being in Betty Ford, b/w Brian has a very rare moment of self censorship.
• Tony Romo likes to drink and drive, b/w Resting Douche Face.
• Brief retirement talk.

Brian didn’t feel like doing show prep this week, so the boys spent a whole day trying to decide which videos to watch. And we got there, also talking about:

• Branch Rickey and light minor league baseball talk.
• Jeff thinks the boys should take colonoscopy prep together.
• The first video is showing kids how to be good people, and obviously we’re not good people.
• Brian likes to run red lights.
• Western style versus Mean Jerk Time.
• Putting the pathetic in empathetic.
• Walter Reed’s sexual harassment training video from the 1980s.
• In the end, it all comes back to sucking seed.
• A Caucasian baby, from the mountains of Caucasus.
• That one Andrews Sister was a MESS.
• Super Troopers 3 merch.
• Brian wore the same Halloween costume for 30 years.

It’s a short show this week, because Brian feels terrible and needs to get home and pump himself full of water and over the counter drugs. But not before we discuss the dead body that sat in the grocery store for four hours due to some corporate nonsense. Also:

• The boys hate grocery shopping, but love old man cereals.
• Brian watched Citizen Vigilante, declares it’s dog shit.
• Brian had an embarrassing fecal incident at his new job. He wouldn’t post a picture of it on X, but he’s willing to do something else for the show.
• A Chubby Checker digression, b/w Chubby’s “folk” album.
• Update: Injury totals for the running of the bulls.
• Update: Kristi Noem is leaving her closeted, likely homosexual, cross dressing husband.
• A North Miami Beach police captain was arrested for filming his step-daughter in the shower.
• A pilot instructor jumped out of the plane, leaving his student to land by herself.
• Jeff has insane confidence in himself.
• The video of the guy getting hit by the bison is hilarious.
• Brian wanted England to win the World Cup because at least they speak English.
• Brief Tarantino discussion.
• Does Jeff have the Taco Bell lettuce rhea disease?

At what age should you know never to swim in any small, muddy body of water in Florida? Sooner than 31, we say. Way sooner. Also:

• Brief July 4th conversation, and Brian once again busts Jeff’s balls for his toilet paper Kleenex gimmick.
• The guy in Ft. Wayne, Indiana who cut his cock off, set it on fire, and used it to set a garage on fire, b/w Boston Corbett castrated himself.
• An Oklahoma woman grabbed a firework from her daughter, and promptly put on her Summer fingers.
• A female Milwaukee cop was knocked out by fireworks, and the way female cops are going, everyone is lucky she didn’t shoot the smoke.
• We would fly Box Cutter Airlines before Spirit.
• A tree and a truck were set on fire during some typical low IQ fireworks shenanigans on Oakland.
• A fireworks explosion sent five people to the hospital, and the news reporter telling you about it looks like Edna Mode.
• The char b/w who is the pedo in Star Wars?
• Enough with Metallica, already.
• 400 arrested in Newport Beach on July 4th – lots of “teens.”
• The (Rocky) Balboa Peninsula
• Summer Teeth revisited.

What better way to celebrate America’s birthday than by taking the week off? But fear not, we’ve recorded a Video Store of us watching an episode of “Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura” where they discuss the Kennedy assassination. Eventually we lose patience with this low IQ dummy and tap out, but before then, we’re having a great time. Have a listen. (Recorded June 4 for broadcast July 3.)

This week, an absolute pimp of an 85-year-old man was caught in his tiny car, smoking a cigarello, and driving 110 miles per hour in a 45. He was arrested (along with another guy) for drag racing. (We have the video of his arrest, too.) Also:

• Brian is obsessed with Hollywood Graveyard.
• Brian made a serious tactical error trying to do something adventurous at work, and learned a lesson.
• Light baseball talk, b/w Brian almost does a spit take.
• When a fart goes up your ball bag.
• We’re doing Jocktober this year.
• A woman working at Arby’s spit into a customer’s food, giving her herpes.
• The Cos drops by and talks about how he used to give women herpes.
• Brian forgot to mention that Alan Greenspan died, and Team Jeff ties the Dead Pool at 2-2.
• Jeff drops a rare Mush Mouth.
• Brian Williams was funny on 30 Rock.
• Some blue hair drove a Tesla into a public swimming pool.
• You ever pull a load out while driving?
• The Commodore flip phone.

First up this week, a Pasadena cop was jerking around and shot another cop in the shoulder, proving once again that every police force in America should implement an IQ test. Also:

• Dead Pool Update: Gene Shalit died, and team Brian takes a 2-1 lead.
• Brian speculates on the sex lives of Kermit and Miss Piggy.
• A Dick Cavett correction.
• An HOA voted to exterminate hundreds of geese, and the boys are torn, because they hate both HOAs and geese.
• You could burn geese for fuel, right?
• The Auschwitz parking lot was always full.
• A drunk and / or high woman spit on a cop twice, and got popped in the mouth for her effort.
• There’s nothing better than a Three Stooges pie fight.
• “The old Union Pacific doesn’t come by here much anymore.”
• Jimmy Cagney’s open palm grapefruit technique b/w The Golden Age of Broad Smacking.
• The boys don’t care about the World Cup, but the videos of Euros loving free refills and Buc-ee’s are the best.
• Brian found out he’s incompatible with regular, human working hours.