This week’s episode was recorded last New Year’s Eve, in case we needed an “emergency” show during the 2026 season. And we did. Listen as the Boys discuss:

• Brian was newly unemployed, and Jeff is surprised he’s not living in the studio.
• Light football talk.
• People being loud.
• Jeff stepped in dog shit, and actively has a stroke while describing it, we think.
• When pets die.
• Light teevee talk.
• Judy Hopps – would ya?
• Brian is jerking off A LOT during his unemployment.
• Chubby Checker.
• Almost falling down.
• Looney Tunes and Three Stooges themes.
• Guns N’ Roses, Judas Priest, and Metallica.

This week, the boys learn that the best way to deal with a woman who wants to leave you is to demolish your own house. Also:

• Jeff had to take care of a drunken asshole at a baseball game. (By the way, if you feel the need to get hammered at a minor league baseball game, check yourself into a program.)
• Brian saw a fatso falling and rolling down a hill, and it was one of the greatest moments of his life.
• Brian got a job, and it’s going to take him some time to train them.
• Grok wrote us a script last week, and we’re just not feeling it. It’s bad, bad, bad.
• An Atlanta cop was banging a judge in her chambers, b/w Brian used to live next to a girl whose boyfriend would legitimately tear it up.
• A brief history of shitty talk shows; Dick Cavett will not get past Watergate.
• A Florida man had his cock out at a Taco Bell.
• There’s no way a fat, bald guy should be selling you workout shoes.
• Nap and baseball discussions.

It’s hot in England again, like it is every year, and that means Americans have to hear about how we don’t understand how heat works. Also:

• Brian wants to Video Store “It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum”and “Heil Honey I’m Home!”
• Brian may finally have a job, b/w the casino and reflecting on that girl.
• Grok gave the boys a script for the show (which we’re going to perform next week).
• Jeff hates this guy he works with.
• The Asian Noise.
• Ferrari’s electric car, b/w electric car discussion.
• Baseball talk – the Cubs player who told that blonde to shut her face.
• Robert Pattinson’s Chris Hansen movie, b/w Scarlett Johansson in the next Batman movie.
• Jeff is trying to steal shopping cart money from Aldi.
• Hotel guests were woken up by a “vulgar message” over an emergency intercom.
• Jesse Epstein drops by.
• Jesse Ventura’s fight with Jim Norton.
• Brian can’t wait to go the Full Ben Franklin.
• A man fell through the ceiling at a gym.
• “Tardin’ ‘Round!” b/w face crabs and pussy related throat cancer.
• The original “Big Bang Theory” pilot is dog shit.

On the Rousey v. Carano fight, Brian didn’t even have a chance to get his pants down. Also this week: Jeff was sick but is feeling better | a late breaking story about a landlord who was banging some woman in his tenant’s living room | Brian loves sluts | Follow Up: A study finds that people who love corporate speak aren’t smart | before he loses his house, Brian says he’s going to blown a load in every corner | cops chased a man driving 130 miles an hour, who asked if he should get a better car next time | a kid toucher dropped a thumb drive filled with kiddy porn in a police station parking lot | Brian has nothing “smart” in his house, himself included | the song “Plant a Radish” is analyzed | Feel Good Story of the Week: a cow knows how to scratch herself with things | Feelin’ Fine | heartburn | and finally, eating a carrot.

Welcome to year 22 and episode 400! Fun show this week (except for the part where Brian thinks he’s going to lose his house): Let’s break down that 400 episodes, and it’s some sad shit | sucking dick and balls from the back | Brian’s natural enemy is an old man at Staples | the boys hate corporate speak | Jeff is getting his retirement plan together | a Secret Service agent was jerking off in a Miami hotel hallway | a school director was sentenced for running a fight club with autistic kids | white singers never sounded better than in the 1970s (Humble Pie, Linda Ronstadt, Orleans) | Brian read a book about the Bernie Goetz shooting | man sets world record (we think) for pulling a car with his cock, while on fire | Feel Good Story of the Week: Hundreds of dogs set world record for largest dog pool party | a guy walked onto the runway at the Denver airport, with predictable results | Epstein Injuries | Old Timey Guy drops by to discuss wing walkers | Lefties love trains the same way autistics love trains | and finally, the Rousey and Carano fight is this weekend.

Brian is already collecting clips for Jocktober. Also: If you listen to us on Spotify, this is your warning to find another way | Brian is looking at Rumble | a great clip from the Bob Kevoian tribute show | D4vd had a LOT of child porn on his phone | the boys watch a great video of a matador getting gored in his asshole, which makes them very happy | you want to root for the 20-year-old Taco Bell employee who shot at people, until you hear the whole story | Lohn John Silver’s has to be a money laundering scheme | Brian’s dad has his own agenda | a woman running for office in Utah was accused of forcing herself on four other women | a guy who used to own the Home Alone house killed himself, for a somewhat predictable reason | kid touchers should be encouraged to kill themselves | the Justice Department wants to bring back firing squads | Brian loves “thank you for your attention to this matter” | the trigger mechanism b/w sitting in pudding | Klock | and finally, discussing gimmick shows for this season.

Jeff wants to know how Brian is staying so fat and sassy despite being out of work since last December. (There’s a method, but it’s pretty controversial.) Also: The Wises are not known for their plumbing | Bob Kevoian died | Brian reiterates that when he dies, people should feel free to fuck his corpse | a Titanic exhibit in Chicago ironically got flooded out, twice | Godsmack and Waylon Jennings | D4vd was (finally) arrested | Sabrina Carpenter | Brian: “By the way, don’t wake me up for a fuckin’ kid abduction” | a “former” prostitute denies involvement in a prostitution ring, is promptly arrested | Jesse Epstein drops by | group sets the world record for the most people dressed as dinosaurs | the cuck chair should replace the maple leaf as Canada’s national symbol | a 63-year-old man was caught jerking off in a company van | undercover jerkin’ | and finally, “Undercover Angel” by Alan O’Day should be the white national anthem.

Brian accidentally pauses the show open, and we’re off to the races. On Eric Swalwell, Brian doesn’t understand how sending a cock pic is still a move | The Captain | Brian thinks he finally has a name for his dick | Tony Gonzales’s side piece set herself on fire | Huma Abedin’s memoir, beta male husband, and Middle East Face | Sharknado | Mort and Frances | Bahamian police released the guy who definitely didn’t kill his wife (wink) | it must feel amazing once you’ve finally decided to kill your wife | the HOA thief, and possible hero, turned herself in | a large Blizzard | the Michigan bank roll | Baby Jessica was arrested for domestic violence | a cop at an active crime scene was scrolling through a dating app | the boys try to do a feel good news story about a lost kangaroo and the show completely derails | Brian is outraged by country music’s obsession with cold beer | Willem Dafoe is method acting | Super Humman’s Super Slide of Carnage Part Two, Spring Special Style | and finally, Brian wants to drive drunk.

This week, Windows is a cancer on home computing. Also: Brian found out TGO Radio is one of the 10-20 longest running podcasts ever | saying goodbye | so far, the carny half is winning | a minty fresh load | Brian had lunch with Morbidly O’Beast | Brian floats the idea of hiring a third mic | True Grit | Brian is still watching way too much “Big Bang Theory” | a toddler was bitten by a wolf because her parents, apparently, are shit | minor injuries | an American woman in the Bahamas “fell off a boat” | Patrice O’Neal on Natalee Holloway | “Rock Lobster” | a woman who looks like the Joker stole $200,000 from HOAs, and the boys are torn | a symphony of flatulence | and finally, the studio is much too hot today.