(You won’t guess what it is.)

Thanks for listening to the longest running, least listened to podcast in America. This week: making the switch; this year’s Dead Pool is finally heating up (Bob Newhart and Dr. Ruth died); Jeff’s trip to Hollywood; Jimmy Carter; the hawk tuah girl; Kermit the Frog singing “Gin and Juice”; Paris’ mayor finally swam in the stupid Seine; is camel toe sexy?; Jerry Sandusky; Grindr is popular at the RNC; a man sued a stripper because he gave her money and she behaved like a stripper; the Coca-Cola company really has it locked in; “Mommy Dearest”; if he could, Brian would only shit at work; McDonald’s breakfast; the muddy Baja Blast; Brian hates paper straws; and finally, Brian’s dad is a square.

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(Take it up with the Kaiser!)

Per tradition, we have three “dummies getting hurt by fireworks” stories this year, not to forget: Shelley Duvall died; Brian wants to go crazy late in his life; Biden hours; Jeff was forced to talk to a stranger; some Olympic games make money; the mayor of Paris says she’s still going to swim in the Seine; a young guy lost some digits thanks to fireworks; Jeff wants to give booze and fireworks (for free) to dumb people; Brian left a drive thru in disgust; a man gave fireworks to his eleven-year-old son, and predictable things happened; Brian strongly objects to the word “malfunction”; regular jackoffs; a man died after lighting fireworks on his head; some moron claims the sun has changed; necklacing; Michael Hutchence; a Canadian couple is teaching their pet rats how to drive little electric cars; low hanging balls; banging comic strip characters; and finally, Snoopy the War Criminal.

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(Tooooons.)

First up, a hidden history of the White House. Then: It’s pretty easy to not die in a stupid way; Brian is obsessed with MeTv Toons; old people TV; “The Simpsons” and “Mad Men”; Jeff has a great idea; more forgotten history of the White House; the president of France and mayor Paris ended up not swimming in the Seine river (because it’s a toxic hell hole of a waterway); the Olympics are a grift; Lauren Boebert won her primary; Jeff saw a picture of Boebert he liked; more White House history; a man jumped into an enclosure at Kings Island, and the local media never really gets around to what happened; Michael C. Hall’s band still stinks; kids who threw up in school; a man was arrested for fucking a horse, again (Mister Ed responds); rape cakes; and finally, the girl who lifted her shirt at the Oilers game got a Playboy layout.

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(Bob, not John.)

The tale of the $250 flat tire. Also: pro gambling, Brian forgets to do the show intros, the Nashville cop who was in that Only Fans video was arrested; an Ohio attorney who had his law license suspended for flinging shit filled Pringles cans into parking lots had his license reinstated; Brian wants to shit in a Pringles can on the show; a McDonald’s employee pulled a gun on some customers; a perfect pro wrestling gimmick; a half-naked man drove his car through a police station entrance; Brian makes the most obscure reference in show history; people in Paris are planning a “shit flashmob” in advance of the Olympics; Long John Silver’s; a man said he’d rather go to jail than pay for the beer he stole; Jeff’s pool; and “The Love Boat.”

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(It’s okay to just be bi, you performance artist.)

This week, TGO Radio dives into an episode of “Naked Attraction,” a dating show where you see your perspective dates nude first. We meet Mariia (a “pansexual sex therapist”) and Alannah (a “content creator”), who are looking for love, allegedly.

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(Sophie, you’s a window shopper …)

This week: Brian wants a Babbling Asshole alarm; the medication commercial cold open; “The Simpsons” on vacation; should Jeff add a song to his opening fanfare?; Technical Difficulties; a teacher who was drunk in class will not be charged; Brother Cool Hand send bad memes; funcle; drinking in school; regrettably, Brian’s son is a Long Beard Guy; if Joe pardons Hunter; Irish coffee; Jeff saw Godzilla: Minus One; Japan is a harmless culture since they got the nukes; Joey Chestnut was banned from the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest; Jeff’s ex-wife; Jeffrey Jones (the actor); who would you fuck, between Ferris and Cameron; the old man who was slingshotting his neighbors died; some finer details on Balloonfest ‘86; teachers were trying to set up a foursome with male students; Jeff plays a scene from “Boondock Saints”; someone took the song “Window Shopper” and made a 1950s tune out of it; Conway Fiddy; and Dave Landeau.

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(I’m looking for a man in finance. Trust fund, 6’5″, blue eyes. That’s all I want.)

It was a marathon recording session chock full of verbal sleeping pills. Here’s what’s left: Recording on D-Day; Roof Koreans and Rodney King; Brian thinks “Paradise City” is the best rock song of the 1980s; “Money for Nothing;” the most expensive vinyl album we own; first CDs; Brian dehydrates himself because he’s a forgetful asshole; someone hit a nice jackpot at the casino; ugly babies; a high school sports announcer was caught checking out hot moms on an open mic; high school sports and the WNBA; a new St. Louis restaurant has age restrictions; we’re just hearing about the Indiana serial killer from 1996, and they’re still identifying victims; Brian is one election cycle away from becoming a crackpot; the only way to die; Jeff introduces Brian to the great Cleveland balloon debacle of 1986; and Chicken-fil-a.

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(“Head Woond.”)

This week, millionaire Jeff got a new pool. Also, the Indy 500, Updates and Corrections (Hunter Biden’s baby mama dictated a book, the woman who tried to poison her husband with bleach plead guilty, and James Gregory died), a man jerked off on a woman in Whole Foods, a 17-year-old “rapper” shot himself to death; a Nashville cop was fired for appearing on Only Fans; Brian reached out to the Only Fans girl, and she was a good sport; an annoying man thumbs his nose at his local government; Emo Phillips; an 81-year-old man has been slingshotting his neighbors’ windows for a decade; the Nutter Butter shake; Jimmy Hoffa; Tonya Harding and Nancy Carrigan; neither of the guys can remember the name “Margot Robbie”; and finally, Jeff doesn’t know who Zendaya is, but Brian loves her.

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(

Here’s some news we missed because last week’s show was all about scumbag teachers: Three women caught HIV from “vampire facials”; Wuhan; a murder suspect was eating his victim’s face; “Charlie Brown”; Britain’s fattest man died; competitive eating; Mountain Dew Code Red; Harvey Weinstein’s cock; losing weight; Rodney Dangerfield; the Jack Shack; election night; Biden shit his pants; and finally, Andrew “Dice” gay (here’s a link to the clip).

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(Beat it, titless.)

Beginning it’s 20th year, this is TGO Radio. Jeff found a song for Doug; Brian tries to convince Jeff the show needs to head to Vegas for the 20th anniversary shows; the Tom Brady roast; Jeff Ross; Bea Arthur; Jeff wants to record a show drunk; Vegas hotels; gambling; Updates and Corrections (Wally Gator and Ric Flair); drunk Ric Flair was kicked out of a restaurant; a female teacher was fired for making out with an 11-year-old boy (and predictably, her marriage is off); another female teacher molested a 13-year-old girl; Jeff is old; a male teacher was jailed for taking perv pics of teenage girls; a teacher was fired for coming to work hammered; Jeff annoys his wife; and finally, angry things.

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