How do you expect this show to not talk about teacher and student sex stories when they’re starting to look like this (and this)? Jeff says it would be embarrassing to be assassinated by a retard; Brian thinks Trump is the price we paid for letting shit get out of hand; shamrock shakes; Jeff is outraged by everyone’s driving; a Summer Teeth update; September 5, Captain America, and the Led Zeppelin documentary; Brian is baffled by the MCU right now, and is scared of snow; acceptable Christmas songs; the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominees are out; a Chinese woman accidentally ate a firework; a woman stole a Krispy Kreme truck; a 104-year-old woman celebrated her birthday in jail; Trixie got hearing aids; an Only Fans girl was fucked off of a balcony and died; and finally, Jeff forgot we recorded shows in advance.

This week it’s some of the news we missed during the break, including: a New York City restaurant is selling grilled guinea pigs; the postal service is putting out a Betty White stamp; a judge sent a “My First Ankle Monitor” meme to another judge; two men died after searching for Sasquatch; if you had to be fucked by a mythical creature, who would you pick?; the reason Brian was late; a cop was watching porn while driving around; a woman wore a butt plug during a MRI; an elementary school principal had a party for hundreds of teenagers; “Esther Be the One”; a student catfished a middle school teacher into prison time; a Summer Teeth update; Jeff opens things with his teeth; coverage; Notre Dame; baseball; and finally, getting back into the groove.

The mammoth 20th year of TGO Radio begins now! As is tradition, we dedicate the first episode of the year to updates and corrections from the time off. This week: Nothing proves you’re old quite like your opinions on sports; twenty more years?; Jeff hurt himself bowling and Brian broke his leg; the 2025 Dead Pool; Jimmy Carter died; OJ Simpson’s porn collection will be auctioned; the Dodger fan who blew his fingers off is sharing a positive message; and finally, Jay Leno “fell.”