Two Old Guys Who Hate Things

(Take it up with the Kaiser!)

Per tradition, we have three “dummies getting hurt by fireworks” stories this year, not to forget: Shelley Duvall died; Brian wants to go crazy late in his life; Biden hours; Jeff was forced to talk to a stranger; some Olympic games make money; the mayor of Paris says she’s still going to swim in the Seine; a young guy lost some digits thanks to fireworks; Jeff wants to give booze and fireworks (for free) to dumb people; Brian left a drive thru in disgust; a man gave fireworks to his eleven-year-old son, and predictable things happened; Brian strongly objects to the word “malfunction”; regular jackoffs; a man died after lighting fireworks on his head; some moron claims the sun has changed; necklacing; Michael Hutchence; a Canadian couple is teaching their pet rats how to drive little electric cars; low hanging balls; banging comic strip characters; and finally, Snoopy the War Criminal.