It’s just terrible.

We’re finishing 2022 in a show prep free zone, this week watching the pilot episode of the CBS show The Equalizer. As always, we encourage the listener to watch the episode itself (in this case, on Paramount +) before listening to our breakdown. But if you don’t want to do that, kick back and listen to two old dummies have a great time watching a very bad show.

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500,000 copies sold in America.

It’s the return of the hum as we load up before the last two new episodes of the year. Listen intently as we discuss: a woman who unleashed bees on the cops during an eviction; The Boondocks; a cultist convinced people to give her millions of dollars (and eat human shit); Brian incorrectly guesses Jonestown was in New Guinea; The Osmonds recorded two “hard rock” albums in the early 1970s; 42 Long; replacing DVDs; Elon Musk will cut Twitter’s staff by seventy-five percent; conspiracies; potheads; Brian is going to add a title to his name; and electronic picture frames.

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Just wait until you hear Brian’s idea.

Please pardon the background hum as we discuss: Another update to the recording schedule; an important anniversary for Jim Mora; Coke and Pepsi; a man was convicted of jerking off with an Elmo doll; a janitor passed his STD on to an office building (and in a show first, Brian shoots his drink out of his nose); “Three Lock Box”; a Republican candidate in Arizona was caught jerking off in his truck; Vinegar Strokes; many many french fries; a woman died in a restaurant bathroom; The King makes an appearance; and Brian has an idea for a Hoarders reboot.

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It’s open, alright.

We’re light on news this week, so there’s a lot of aimless babbling about: Tab, corporate culture, Brian’s Halloween costume; everything doesn’t need to be everything all the time; Jeff realizes we’re recording and does a show open; let’s have a legal war over TGO Radio; Brian could never be a landlord and he could never pay for pussy; this has been our best season; Brian needs to shit; a landscaper was pulled into a wood chipper; a man drives into a cow; Ukrainians promise to have an orgy if Putin drops a nuke; a Deadwood digression; Ian McShane on Miami Vice [Bonus Pic!]; and a Sgt. Slaughter digression.

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Tubby, heading to work.

The show opens with Brian making a mush mouth ass out of himself and continues with: The Atlanta Braves won the National League East; Tom and Gisele; quit trying to convince us that middle aged women are going to whip ass (re: The Equalizer and The Rookie Feds); a fat woman was accused of raping a man; a man left his own honeymoon to meet a whore; an Indian has been holding his arm over his head for a decade; Fergie; the protester who was tackled on Monday Night football filed a police report; the standing clench; blood work; and cat food.

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Like this, but a scumbag.

This week opens with an “Out of Context Audio” compilation of last week’s show, and it’s a great one. Also, Doug is still not Ron Mexico; the recording schedule; Brian is unemployable; Sophie makes a rare appearance; Reacharound Medical and Dr. KY; a man was caught on video desecrating a grave; a Paul Carrack digression; turkeys are running wild in a Massachusetts town; an incident at Jeffrey Epstein Elementary makes the news; Brian shit his pants; whores in Vegas; and finally, how Doug got his name.

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The Breaking Bad-mobile in the next driveway should have been a giveaway.

This week we watch the third episode in Dateline NBC’s To Catch a Predator run (which you can also watch here). For us, it’s not enough to wish these wannabe kid fuckers horrible deaths, but we want to make fun of them, too.

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Start by microwaving a banana peel …

Come for the babbling, stay for the guy working on his lawn for half of the show. The Boys discuss: Why not let a man blow you?; early show choices; fall is here; Brian referred to Doug as “Ron Mexico”; dark times; buying an air fryer; car accident memories; Guinea Pig Awareness Week was cancelled; a snack company is selling pussy flavored potato chips; an Australian man was killed by his pet kangaroo; Howe Bizarre; TGO Radio on the Wayback Machine; Steve Irwin and Siegfried and Roy; seeing a movie with a mostly black audience is AMAZING; dirty pussy; sex toys; kangaroos redux; cartoons; and a unified theory on jerking off.

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A great American.

Brian refers to Doug as “Ron Mexico” and no one notices. Also, the origin of Loo Canon; Jeff can’t open his drink; brief college football talk; sports talk radio stinks; Spain set a record for fatalities during a single bull running season; Taco Bell and Long John Silver’s; animal breeding; Jeff is on time; the royal beekeeper had to notify the bees that the queen died; Brian’s here to colonize that ass; Adolf Lemon; Stawovy X wants to kill all the Democrats; someone is dumping bags of shit in the woods; a restaurant wrote a 9/11 menu; Brian loves the illegals at Martha’s Vineyard story; a female bare knuckles fighter flashed her tits at a crowd; the wackiest thing you’ve ever jerked off to; and Brian won’t get on top of girls anymore because he doesn’t want to suffocate them.

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Loon.

It’s a lively, ADD-riddled show this week as the Boys wonder, did you hear the queen died? Also, Doug Reacharound has no opinion; a man loses his arm to an alligator; just give John Rambo a goddamn sandwich and a Coke, already; Talking Heads and pick noise; a beach crawling with pussy; Lemon; a wildlife park director lost his hand to an alligator; a man has an alligator as an emotional support animal; an Australian rules football player blew another player in a bar; going through old show files; a six-year-old is given Smirnoff Ices “to help him sleep”; Brian reads a crime report written in German; the Charlie Chaplin and the Harpo; laying wood to beasts; and the Breeze.

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