(It’s okay to just be bi, you performance artist.)
This week, TGO Radio dives into an episode of “Naked Attraction,” a dating show where you see your perspective dates nude first. We meet Mariia (a “pansexual sex therapist”) and Alannah (a “content creator”), who are looking for love, allegedly.
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(Sophie, you’s a window shopper …)
This week: Brian wants a Babbling Asshole alarm; the medication commercial cold open; “The Simpsons” on vacation; should Jeff add a song to his opening fanfare?; Technical Difficulties; a teacher who was drunk in class will not be charged; Brother Cool Hand send bad memes; funcle; drinking in school; regrettably, Brian’s son is a Long Beard Guy; if Joe pardons Hunter; Irish coffee; Jeff saw Godzilla: Minus One; Japan is a harmless culture since they got the nukes; Joey Chestnut was banned from the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest; Jeff’s ex-wife; Jeffrey Jones (the actor); who would you fuck, between Ferris and Cameron; the old man who was slingshotting his neighbors died; some finer details on Balloonfest ‘86; teachers were trying to set up a foursome with male students; Jeff plays a scene from “Boondock Saints”; someone took the song “Window Shopper” and made a 1950s tune out of it; Conway Fiddy; and Dave Landeau.
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(I’m looking for a man in finance. Trust fund, 6’5″, blue eyes. That’s all I want.)
It was a marathon recording session chock full of verbal sleeping pills. Here’s what’s left: Recording on D-Day; Roof Koreans and Rodney King; Brian thinks “Paradise City” is the best rock song of the 1980s; “Money for Nothing;” the most expensive vinyl album we own; first CDs; Brian dehydrates himself because he’s a forgetful asshole; someone hit a nice jackpot at the casino; ugly babies; a high school sports announcer was caught checking out hot moms on an open mic; high school sports and the WNBA; a new St. Louis restaurant has age restrictions; we’re just hearing about the Indiana serial killer from 1996, and they’re still identifying victims; Brian is one election cycle away from becoming a crackpot; the only way to die; Jeff introduces Brian to the great Cleveland balloon debacle of 1986; and Chicken-fil-a.
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(“Head Woond.”)
This week, millionaire Jeff got a new pool. Also, the Indy 500, Updates and Corrections (Hunter Biden’s baby mama dictated a book, the woman who tried to poison her husband with bleach plead guilty, and James Gregory died), a man jerked off on a woman in Whole Foods, a 17-year-old “rapper” shot himself to death; a Nashville cop was fired for appearing on Only Fans; Brian reached out to the Only Fans girl, and she was a good sport; an annoying man thumbs his nose at his local government; Emo Phillips; an 81-year-old man has been slingshotting his neighbors’ windows for a decade; the Nutter Butter shake; Jimmy Hoffa; Tonya Harding and Nancy Carrigan; neither of the guys can remember the name “Margot Robbie”; and finally, Jeff doesn’t know who Zendaya is, but Brian loves her.
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(
Here’s some news we missed because last week’s show was all about scumbag teachers: Three women caught HIV from “vampire facials”; Wuhan; a murder suspect was eating his victim’s face; “Charlie Brown”; Britain’s fattest man died; competitive eating; Mountain Dew Code Red; Harvey Weinstein’s cock; losing weight; Rodney Dangerfield; the Jack Shack; election night; Biden shit his pants; and finally, Andrew “Dice” gay (here’s a link to the clip).
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(Beat it, titless.)
Beginning it’s 20th year, this is TGO Radio. Jeff found a song for Doug; Brian tries to convince Jeff the show needs to head to Vegas for the 20th anniversary shows; the Tom Brady roast; Jeff Ross; Bea Arthur; Jeff wants to record a show drunk; Vegas hotels; gambling; Updates and Corrections (Wally Gator and Ric Flair); drunk Ric Flair was kicked out of a restaurant; a female teacher was fired for making out with an 11-year-old boy (and predictably, her marriage is off); another female teacher molested a 13-year-old girl; Jeff is old; a male teacher was jailed for taking perv pics of teenage girls; a teacher was fired for coming to work hammered; Jeff annoys his wife; and finally, angry things.
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(CRANE DANGLES bwa ha ha ha ha)
This marks the 19th anniversary of our first episode, and we begin by wondering how much longer this can possibly go on. Then, Brian is never going to die and his dad is fat; the Giamattis; a harrowing casino story; if we were women we’d be millionaires; why is it always “furiously” jerking off; clips from seasons 6 in 2012 and 7 in 2013 (Brian’s crush, Bob Ross, and Crane Dangles); Brian talks about opening a gay Only Fans; a 2005 test show we lost; hearing me out; dark years; and finally, a tease for next week.
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(15:28)
First up, the origin of Jeff’s new theme, then we get to the first episode of “Super Friends,” a Hannah Barbera cartoon that aired on ABC beginning in 1973.
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(Heat up a bag of shaved ham, boys.)
It’s a long one this week, listen as A.I. Joe and A.I. Don debut their new campaign ads! Also: The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees were announced; The Harvey Weinstein New York verdict was overturned; the boys give relationship advice about the Waffle Stomp; the smell when you eat two-and-a-half bowls of Cheerios in a day; go-to cereals; store brand foods; watching shitty movies; The Human Centipede; a missing man was found dead after some definitely not gay activity; Hannibal; the man who killed his friend because of Bigfoot was convicted; LBJ was a creep; a man died from a boner drug overdose at a priest’s gay sex orgy; the life of Tom Griswold at parties; Brian made a pilgrimage to the Bob and Tom studio; want to buy a flame throwing robot dog?; napalm in the morning; the guy who set himself on fire; a man who built a raft and went floating is missing; the last teacher sex story we’re going to do this year; Brawndo; Benson; and finally, shaved ham and steamed hams.
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(Stop fucking guys with IQs of 75.)
This week’s show was definitely not recorded at the same time as last week’s show, featuring: Brian got raped at the casino; Updates and Corrections (Alyssa Zinger was banging more teenage boys than they thought, and Lauren Boebert’s son is a dirtbag); Jeff circles back to Caitlin Clark; eclipse recap; Brian’s been reading a book about eugenics and is having trouble disagreeing with some of the points; a man pointed a gun at a Burger King employee on Easter morning; Brian is a sucker for R. Budd Dwyer and Triangle Shirtwaist Factory jokes; St. Louis TV station referred to black homeowners as colored; a man jerked off on food at a Safeway; the Perv Switch; a man faked his death in order to not pay child support; a comic book sold for $6 million; and finally, Joker 2 and La La Land.
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