Let’s talk about the Dead Pool trophy. Also, Jimmy Carter; cramping in the jerk hand; Jeff’s old man decision; the Election Night show; not forcing a fart; Brian spilled a Cherry Coke all over himself; hurricane stuff; Ethel Kennedy; Jeff just sits on his shits all day long; the other Harry Truman; “documentary filmmakers” give up on finding the Piss Bandit; Jeff is really just a cranky old guy; Joker 2; an old American bomb exploded at a Japanese airport; the Ultimate Dick Kicking Championships; and finally, the quiet quitting.

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This week, we must stop pretending Jimmy Carter is a vibrant man who can’t wait to do things. Also, the O, the Q, and the Q with a dot; the B-52s; George W., Bill, and Joe; boiled peanuts; excerpts from a joke book published in 1884; “It Isn’t Gonna Suck Itself”; an Arizona man was arrested for crawling under SUVs and watching women’s feet; how many times a day does a young guy have to jerk off just to keep his life on the level?; being a hot girl must be impossible; a priest died after fucking another priest; a man took mushrooms and cut his cock into little pieces; Boston Corbett (here’s a link to Corbett’s hospital report); and finally, John Wilkes Booth.

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If you need 47 minutes of middle age babble, this episode of TGO Radio is the show for you. Listen as the boys discuss Diddy and Rap Snacks; the Ballerina trailer; bands; Brian got a compliment at the pet store; Brian is transfixed by an old topless picture of Madonna he found; AI fakes; guzzling and nuzzling; sugar Daddying; a big truck decal; Jeff in traffic; “The Extinction of Experience”; the old people have restaurants figured out; someone found new Mozart music; George Floyd; the Rodney King Academy; retiring and working; movies; old stuff was just as bad as new stuff; desert island movies; the end of the season; and finally, meandering after some pussy.

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Welcome back to TGO Radio, a harmless representation of a culture in decline. This week: Brian fumbles Doug’s intro; we have nine more episodes than we thought; music; Brian had a weekend at the casino they’re going to write folk songs about; the David Chase documentary; the guy who pretended to be a high school boy (so he could bang girls) was sentenced; the Cos returns; Löwenbräu; a woman breaks up with her airplane boyfriend; a man finds a creative way to fuck himself with a cucumber, and we have the video; Vance was a very bad pick; Fruity Pebbles discussion; sports talk; LemonJuice; and texting at night.

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Brian is very high energy this week! Also: Jeff heard a piece of old Lyndon Johnson audio and brought it to the show; an update on last week’s porch shitter story; Lemon makes an appearance, and Brian just can’t take it; a power outage hits the studio; a Dollar Tree had candles filled with piss, and one spilled on a girl; a new JFK 8mm film will be for sale soon; Beetlejuice Beetlejuice; an old woman finally survives an alligator attack; neighbors are mad at a woman for working on a Halloween display; Brian does have a name for his house; “Elvira” by the Oak Ridge Boys; and finally, Brian’s son wants to cut his hair.

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We’re kicking off this week with the Whitney Houston slot machine, and continuing with: light football talk; obscure presidential election talk; John Cazale talk; a man has been shitting on someone’s front porch; a fat reality TV star was arrested; let’s be bail bondsmen; the Wells Fargo employee who died at her desk should make you think about your life (your employer doesn’t care about you); Michael Jackson; the kid who was on “Baywatch” used to smell dirty swimsuits; Nicole Eggert was never the one; Stockard Channing was 33 when she made Grease; fan theories; Pamela Anderson wasn’t the one, either; “get it together, Japan”; and finally, a whale joke.

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We’re all over the place this week, but let’s start with the fact that if you work at McDonald’s, give a little effort. Just a little. Also: Brian explains why he quit going to a certain supermarket; the time Bill Burr was lake for pick-up; OJ Simpson’s ashes were turned into jewelry for his kids; a restaurant gave a toddler wine instead of apple juice; a man submitted a miniature of a famous porn set to the fair and won third prize; early Bang Bus was a genius idea; a gas station is playing classical music to keep bums away; Italian slurs are hilarious; a hack reporter tells us about the Chick-fil-a streaming service; an Indiana man got four years for trying to poison his wife; while Google Street Viewing the area around the opera playing 7-11, the boys see a man who looks like he’s questioning his life choices; the best suicide songs; Mama Catss; John Philip Sousa; and finally, if Brian had been gay, would he have still fucked without bags? (Most likely, yes.)

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(We’re here to solve problems.)

This week! Bob and Tom discussion. Also! If TGO Radio were a daily show; an update on a man who faked his death to avoid child support was sentenced; people have kids with no idea how expensive they are; the TGO Radio self help book; looking back on Bill Clinton fucking Monica Lewinsky’s mouth; a colonoscopy patient woke up during the procedure; people must have smelled horrendous in the old days; a homeless woman died trying to sneak into a city hall; a former NFL lineman pissed on an old woman during a flight; Jeffrey Epstein; the R. Kelly piss tape; YouTube pranksters; and finally, teasing crack heads with drones.

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(What other things should you not shove up your ass?)

Brian’s bank pre-qualified him for a mortgage, which is how you know the housing market is just about cooked. Also: HOAs; Jeff’s ex-wife; you have to know when you’re the problem; Jeff’s diet; Jack Karlson died; Greg Kihn died; Jeff saw the Stray Cats; video of a quadriplegic bullying the police was released (here’s the music video we watched); a brother and a sister were arrested for fighting over chicken, which leads to an exciting episode of Guess the Race; stereo farts; an Indian man in Vietnam shoved an eel up his ass; “Rock Me Amadeus”; Lemon; “help me Dr. Zaius”; favorite “Simpsons” episodes; a woman died at O’Hare Airport; and A Clockwork Orange.

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(Men were discovering it.)

“Benson” was on ABC for seven seasons, from 1979 through 1986, and if you think TV stinks now, this particular episode (season one, episode six) is here to remind you that TV always stunk, and excellence is the exception. (More at Wikipedia.) Brian forgot to hit the record button, so we start right at the episode open.

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