Let’s talk about the fact we’re never going to see a proper Spring again. And: Joe Biden’s cancer; Jeff is full of ideas; “What’s Happening!!”; Molly Ringwald topless; Brooke Shields; Sydney Sweeney; Scarlett Johansson; Florence Pugh; Jeff introduces Brian to Drag Syndrome; the Gangster Party Line; Klarna is in trouble; a McDonald’s in Virginia closed the dining room to anyone under 21; why is every young girl’s eyes so far apart?; Burger King onion rings; scientists need to study Long John Silver’s; Hypertelorism is running rampant; they talked to the father of the guy who bombed that IVF clinic in Palm Springs; no one talks about Terry Nichols; Brian’s manifesto; a kindergartner took Jell-o shots to school; a man was found inside a Lowe’s display shed with Vaseline and a cell phone; and finally, Brian misses the casino.

This week, what India and Pakistan were really fighting for. Also: We missed the anniversary of the Bill O’Reilly meltdown video; the remix; Bill O’Reilly had to pay a woman $32 million because he sexually harassed her; an update on the man who fucked his own ass with a cucumber; Spit Take Theater; Jeff’s update on Andy Taylor’s book; a Righty loon burned 100 library books; not to be outdone, Lefty loons are jerking off at a Seattle beach; a bus driver was arrested for driving kids while hammered; a foot fetishist is booking home tours with female real estate agents; and finally, Jeff’s almost shit himself at work.

The show opens with a discussion of Public Enemy, then we open some champagne to start the big anniversary festivities: Brian found some old pictures in the archive that Jeff has never seen (see them here), and some audio that changes the early history of the show; fucking young Brian must have been like fucking Mickey Mouse; Brian also found a random Opie and Anthony clip in the archive; an update on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, b/w you won’t believe who’s not in the Hall; an angry woman shit on another woman’s car; the Beatles and Joe Cocker; a meth head was outed by her own pet raccoon; a Florida man married three women in three different counties, apparently because he was tired of peace and quiet; post nut clarity; Brian would fuck an old woman if it meant he could gamble every day; and finally, we’re taking it one year at a time from here on out.

The Pope died and the 2025 Dead Pool is heating up. Also: Conclave asks you to suspend disbelief for some outer space shit; you have to listen to the show in context; ol’ pie crust bones; Brian thinks Trump will die a Big Mac clutched in his claws; a John Cena heel turn update; a woman took a shit in a beer cooler; Jeff’s fake outrage is off the charts; KTLA tweeted the N bomb; a man set two sex toys on fire, and the blaze spread to two houses; the great Chicago fire; a California mayor wants to give fentanyl to the homeless; conclave rules; young boys stink; we should start a religion; Jeff’s first wife hated Brian’s guts; Pope Lemon; when Trixie leaves Jeff, Brian is moving in; and finally, being in the slot.

This week, The Boys are going to see Pink Floyd: Live at Pompeii on IMAX. Also: Hostess v. Little Debbie; Jeff hates his co-workers; coffee fanatics can eat our asses; work meetings suck; Wink Martindale died, and Brian takes a 2-0 lead in the Dead Pool; a Houston dentist was arrested for knowing how to party; nesting geese lead to a tragic croissant mishap; a man died on a NYC subway, then many more bad things happened; Nikki Sixx on the radio; an old man sent child porn to his doctor’s office, and Brian once again advocates for people having a burner jerk phone; and finally, the Rat Pack’s most bigoted songs.

Brian opens the show with a joke he wrote earlier, then autographs the paper for Jeff. Also: Good news, the Depression is over; nuggies; the finger test; stores at the mall; young fashion disasters; 20th anniversary talk; “Alice”again; the mayor of Minot, North Dakota resigned for accidentally sexting the city attorney; nug sweats; an HOA was demanding people keep their garage doors open during the day; a woman was overcharged for ice cream; Brian had trouble at McDonald’s again; a fat Florida man was jerking at the beach; looking back at the old coffee and mouthwash break; and finally, show producer Doug Reacharound.

This week, trying to record in-between power outages. Also: Jeff in the presidential suite; RFK Jr.; the Braves are bad; Herb Alpert; a woman’s $13,000 vet bill; Jeff’s shitting at work update; Brian’s dad was watching “Alice” again, and the theme is BAD; suck a dick and get a house, already; someone is dumping gallons of piss in recycling bins; a New Jersey police chief is a real problem; the Unhappy Meal; a babysitter found a man hanging out under a kid’s bed; Jackie Gleason; and finally, a fat teacher was arrested for stepping on a child’s back.

An anxious nation awaits the update on whether Jeff has decided to keep shitting at work. Also: Getting fingered by your doctor; an update on the Columbine teacher who groomed a girl; another teacher had an orgy with boys wearing Ghostface masks; a man was sentenced for peeing into water bottles and spreading STDs; a woman is offended by Garfield themed 9/11 shirts; an OnlyFans girl killed a guy because she’s a dummy; Brian has a problem with protective film; gorilla ass; a Chinese man got his fist stuck in his girlfriend’s mouth; Hong Kong Phooey; and finally, sword fighting for a can of beans.

Brian talks about Aaron Sorkin, books, and Leonardo da Vinci for several minutes before remembering they’re trying to do a comedy podcast, then immediately blasts Ayn Rand’s shovel face. (Here’s a link to the Whittaker Chambers review of Atlas Shrugged Brian mentions.) Also: “Puttin’ on the Ritz”;”Rock Lobster”; all of a sudden, Jeff wants to shit at work; prostate exams; Brian tells the coconut joke AGAIN; old man balls; there’s a video of a girl sucking chunky peanut butter through a straw; being middle aged is brilliant; John Cena’s heel run; Adolf Hitler’s heel run; an Australian woman got caught trying to sell human toes; pretty soon, you’ll be able to finance your DoorDash order; the Daffy Duck and Porky Pig movie; check local listings, but McDonald’s wants $3.40 for a large fries; and finally, farting at work.

Brian about went on a homicidal rampage waiting at Culver’s. Also: You have to fight the impulse; Jeff had to shit at work and The Cos drops by to celebrate; Dave Gunn is alive; details on the South Carolina man who was shot by a firing squad; what would your last meal be?; 28 Days Later; Philip Seymour Hoffman; an embalmer cut off a dead man’s cock; Brian says you can fuck him when he’s dead; an Air India flight had to turn around because Indians don’t know how to use toilets; shitting in Jeff’s driveway; and finally, outhouse holes.