Keeping with the annual tradition, the boys watch an episode of “Takedown with Chris Hansen.”

In case you were wondering how old Brian is, he’s going to tell you his favorite kind of weather. Also: We realize that pausing mid show to take a drink is rude, and we don’t care | the TGO Radio Christmas party | Brian will gamble for his birthday | reflecting on what we accomplished this year | hitting for the cycle | Mark Sanchez and D4vd updates | a substitute middle school teacher was busted with cocaine | Uncrustables, again | Brian finally got an air fryer | “Was she a great big fat person?” | Publix in Florida will allow open carry | a couple was arrested for giving a teenager bags filled with guns and kicking him out of the car | and finally, Sovereign.

Jeff starts the show in a bad mood, so Brian fucks with him until he feels better. How that shakes out: Prong (the band) discussion | sneezing | Mark Sanchez is a tool bag buffoon facing a felony charge | football player rapists (allegedly) | D4vd updates: they buried the girl, and it turns out her family is trash | the cloud | the woman who was trying to steal Graceland was sentenced | Jeff says Uncrustables are cheating | Elvis’ diet, b/w no wonder he died on the toilet | the shot, the third arm, and Jeff’s dick | a woman stole an electric shopping cart | now is not the time to have Halloween decorations of dead bodies labeled with the names of city officials | IQ is a real thing we have to take seriously | Amelia Earhart became a celebrity in the way nonentities become huge celebrities today | Stroke Show | porn names | the one true TGO Radio conspiracy theory | and finally, getting to the bit.

This week, let’s talk about wanting peace and quiet. Also: when you can’t find things to listen to | ideal work | this week’s D4vd update (not pregnant) | Brian has to set an alarm to record, because he’s old and forgets things | table saws | Barry Bonds’ enormous head | Jose Canseco’s Twitter feed | celebrities on Cameo | the underage montage makes a glorious return | a woman (and sometimes her “friend”) visited all 372 cities and towns in North Dakota | Don Imus and nappy headed hoes | a killer squirrel sent two women to the emergency room | a South Carolina Republican with a great screen name was pinched for child porn | why do kid touchers not know how WiFi and cell phone towers work? | Jeff has to make himself presentable before leaving the studio | and finally, repetitive fork movements.

It’s a weird little show this week, featuring: Doug’s suspension | Charlie’s wife | Kyler Murray and Ron Mexico | a few minutes of sports talk | RC cola | teevee, movies, and music | would ya? | an update on that Nashville cop who grabbed that porn chick’s tit | D4vd is in trouble | Columbo solved the Kennedy assassination | haunted pussy | a “teaching assistant” released shit spray into a school’s HVAC | Jeff thinks Brian should be a gym teacher | a former swim coach got arrested for trying to meet a 15-year-old | a bench honoring blind people was stolen | the Helen Keller and Jeff Durant challenges | and finally, next week, a Would Ya? segment.

Brian throws the open mic to Jeff, and he doesn’t know how to behave, so Lemon takes over. Also this week: Jeff had an ear surgery | Brian explains how the bottom quintile dominates human life | the old guy arrested at the Charlie Kirk shooting likes kid porn | Jeff says don’t go to Utah | soaking | the Osmonds | an update on the guy who was sniffing female asses in public | someone thought a goat was a woman in distress | there’s a Greenville Spider-Man | Blink 182 | a “behavior interventionist” bit a kid | Wal Mart bans an emotional support alligator | Brian had some of the best pancakes of his life | don’t let Jeff fool you, he hates going out in public | the problem with public transportation | Dirty Harry and Gran Torino | Thoreau and Robert Redford | young Mary Tyler Moore | and finally, Scorched Earth Pussy.

The Wide Stance Crew is in the house! This week: “Knock Three Times” | smoking | Beavis and Butt-Head, King of the Hill, and Dexter | the TGO Radio archive | a man ran over a woman who wouldn’t let him smell her feet | we all know Brian’s an old creep | cops chased down a guy wearing a Speedo and covered in mud | a Les Claypool digression | Jeff never “got” Bill and Ted | brat fingers | human remains were found in a Tesla b/w D4vid | Jeff’s had it, and Brian’s not cutting it out | a man was arrested for drunk driving a pink Barbie truck around town | getting in one more float | Anthony Rizzo | and finally, rubber necking.

This week, not a lot of people make it to 80. Also, there’s nothing better than a wet ball bag | no waffle stomping is allowed in the studio | Brian has cataracts | favorite Stanley Kubrick movies | young, topless Nicole Kidman | the producer of War of the Worlds insists there was no product placement in the movie | famous bands tend not to have normal sounding singers | Kurt Cobain’s vocal cords | a kid got shot to death playing ding dong ditch | a probable autistic in Batman pajamas stopped a potential car thief | why Angel Reese can’t make a layup | Brian’s diet last weekend | Jeff is tired | a man was arrested for jerking off at a Korn / System of a Down concert | a man was arrested for drugging his granddaughter’s ice cream | the fuckable Brady Bunch | two men were shooting each other in the head while wearing Kevlar helmets | and finally, Darwin jerking off on the island.

Brian ate two bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and had a cinnamony, toasty dump. Also: Jeff’s dermatologist has a smile like the Joker | Literal Jeff strikes again | Doctor Genius is a hit | War of the Wordles | the first In-N-Out opened in Washington state, and people camped out all night | a man was arrested for sniffing a woman’s ass in public | going over this week’s scumbag roundup for a Florida Crimestoppers | a Woody bouquet | Brian is willing to fund a genocide if it’s to kill dummies | Brian brings up the Taylor Swift engagement, and the boys discuss Travis Kelce’s huge hog | good news: a kid toucher is going to be castrated | and finally, chemical castration.

Jeff and Brian both watched War of the Worlds, and they have a lot to say about it. Also: Brian also saw Nobody 2 and Americana | a man turned his sprinklers on handicapped kids | another man was arrested for blaring train horns and security alarms for no reason | the introduction of Doctor Genius | a man got stuck in a playground slide | ooo, are we checking our phones? | ding dong shoot | “honky” and “cracker” are hilarious | Wikipedia has a list of ethnic slurs | Jeff’s sister has been in Ireland for two weeks | phrases white people use | the man with the world’s longest cock fell in the shower | and finally, we should order a War of the Worlds movie poster for the studio.