The Wide Stance Crew is in the house! This week: “Knock Three Times” | smoking | Beavis and Butt-Head, King of the Hill, and Dexter | the TGO Radio archive | a man ran over a woman who wouldn’t let him smell her feet | we all know Brian’s an old creep | cops chased down a guy wearing a Speedo and covered in mud | a Les Claypool digression | Jeff never “got” Bill and Ted | brat fingers | human remains were found in a Tesla b/w D4vid | Jeff’s had it, and Brian’s not cutting it out | a man was arrested for drunk driving a pink Barbie truck around town | getting in one more float | Anthony Rizzo | and finally, rubber necking.

This week, not a lot of people make it to 80. Also, there’s nothing better than a wet ball bag | no waffle stomping is allowed in the studio | Brian has cataracts | favorite Stanley Kubrick movies | young, topless Nicole Kidman | the producer of War of the Worlds insists there was no product placement in the movie | famous bands tend not to have normal sounding singers | Kurt Cobain’s vocal cords | a kid got shot to death playing ding dong ditch | a probable autistic in Batman pajamas stopped a potential car thief | why Angel Reese can’t make a layup | Brian’s diet last weekend | Jeff is tired | a man was arrested for jerking off at a Korn / System of a Down concert | a man was arrested for drugging his granddaughter’s ice cream | the fuckable Brady Bunch | two men were shooting each other in the head while wearing Kevlar helmets | and finally, Darwin jerking off on the island.

Brian ate two bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and had a cinnamony, toasty dump. Also: Jeff’s dermatologist has a smile like the Joker | Literal Jeff strikes again | Doctor Genius is a hit | War of the Wordles | the first In-N-Out opened in Washington state, and people camped out all night | a man was arrested for sniffing a woman’s ass in public | going over this week’s scumbag roundup for a Florida Crimestoppers | a Woody bouquet | Brian is willing to fund a genocide if it’s to kill dummies | Brian brings up the Taylor Swift engagement, and the boys discuss Travis Kelce’s huge hog | good news: a kid toucher is going to be castrated | and finally, chemical castration.

Jeff and Brian both watched War of the Worlds, and they have a lot to say about it. Also: Brian also saw Nobody 2 and Americana | a man turned his sprinklers on handicapped kids | another man was arrested for blaring train horns and security alarms for no reason | the introduction of Doctor Genius | a man got stuck in a playground slide | ooo, are we checking our phones? | ding dong shoot | “honky” and “cracker” are hilarious | Wikipedia has a list of ethnic slurs | Jeff’s sister has been in Ireland for two weeks | phrases white people use | the man with the world’s longest cock fell in the shower | and finally, we should order a War of the Worlds movie poster for the studio.

The Boys watch the video of the race car driver who fell. Also: Colder weather and cold coffee | how the show ends | if something happens to Trixie, Brian and Jeff should get married | Bitcoin | talking politics | Updates and Corrections (a male prosti, Danielle Spencer died, Sandy Pinkard died) | movie chat, including the new War of the Worlds | some dumb woman danced on a roof and fell into a chimney | South Park | Jeff doesn’t want to try meth | this week’s church based sex offender | the King and Lisa Marie | and finally, AOL is getting rid of dial-up.

(We’ll blame Doug for this not working the first time.) Milwaukee Brewers manager Pat Murphy pulled a pancake out of his pocket and Lemon, as a pocket food aficionado, weighs in. Also: Jeff lost his glasses | It sounds like Howard Stern is getting the boot | update on Hulk Hogan’s cause of death | Beyoncé and Sydney Sweeney | a Catholic priest was arrested for renting pussy | Brian is closer to renting a mouth than ever before | American Top 40 | old people love their local newscasters | a part-time cop was arrested for filming young girls | Cop Rock | cops find a fuck doll in a river | high end fuck dolls are very expensive | the Vaseline route | Mountain Dew genes | Happy Hiroshima (and Nagasaki) day(s) | and finally, old timey racism.

Jeff and Brian were shirtless together. Also this week: The Sydney Sweeney thing is the dumbest story of the year | Hitlery | Kamala Harris narrated a book | Sweeney looks like a space alien | the celebrity death round-up (Chuck Mangione, Ryne Sandberg, Tom Lehrer, and Hulk Hogan) | jabronis and jamokes | The Iron Sheik | authorities warn against “teens” doing the Door Kick Challenge | a radioactive wasp nest was found in South Carolina | and finally, sometimes, a moderate probe is best.

Still funnier than Stephen Colbert, this is TGO Radio. This week: Jerking off back to back; annoying your loved one; Ozzy died; Malcoln-Jamal Warner died; Dexter fucked a lot of hot chicks; the South Park boys just signed a $1.5 billion deal; why the Irish couldn’t fish; a grown man wearing a 20-pound chain was sucked into an MRI, which leads to an exciting new episode of “Guess the Race”; Dirty Harry; a man tried to set fire to a gym and the resulting news report may be the worst in history; Mona Lisa Saperstein; Hunter Biden popping up on podcasts is the Crack Head Event of the Summer; a guy with a lot going going on crawled on a roof looking for drugs; and finally, Twinkies.

This week, the dominant Durant family gene. Also: Getting shows in the can; our ashes; Code Redding it; Updates and Corrections (injuries at the Running of the Bulls and who funds the Mystery Machine?); the Velma and Daphne 69; there’s a large cat on the loose, and Curtis Jones is here to tell us about it; topics for Curtis; a 19-year-old fell into a meat grinder; a meth head outsmarted an employee at a tour trolley company, and stole one; a property vulture puts up a billboard saying he buys crack houses; both Jeff and Brian hate HOAs; “we need the rain” is an old guy conversation; and finally, the greatness of the TGO Radio recording schedule.

Jeff is back from his trip out of the country (North Dakota), and Brian was walrusing around in the pool. Also: Bums; the return; the fun stuff is at Brian’s house; a “rapper” turned his fingers into a bag of Takis; two old white guys can’t comprehend a rapping podcast; NBC has a rundown of fireworks related mishaps; a question about the moon landing; Funnel Cake; unbelievably, someone was lighting illegal fireworks in Brooklyn; Jane is a good sport; a 70-year-old man brought it upon himself; a man in a Scooby-Doo suit robs a gas station; who was bankrolling the Mystery Machine?; and finally, “One Night in Bangkok.”